Commando Vs Crank

If this is one generation’s flagship badass versus another, we’d say the poor unfortunate kiddies that are being brought up on the likes of Crank are being drastically sold short by the R-Rated movie. When we were little it was absurdly over-the-top action goodness courtesy of former Governor Schwarzenegger that got our tiny hearts beating, and whilst Crank does utilize a slightly bonkers level of simulated of violence, when it’s delivered by a whiny cockney smart-ass like Jason Statham it just doesn’t cut the mustard.Arnie’s charms came from his one-liners, his expert wielding of rocket launchers and machine weaponry, his poise and his pure monosyllabic class as he rescues his daughter from that Australian bad guy with a ‘tache. Plus, in the case of 1985’s Commando, the levels of gore are so inherently Eighties — read: inherently exaggerated — it was never going to be knocked from its pedestal by some balding guy from London playing with a handgun or two.
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